five things sasayan style
by writtenby
Summary: Five types of people that Sasayan hates and Natsume is no exception.


**disclaimer: **i don't own tnk  
**title: **five things sasayan style  
**summary: **Five types of people that Sasayan hates and Natsume is no exception.  
**dedication: **my friend who i swear hates everyone and everything (except not really, she just threatens to kick them)  
**notes: **heyy i found the book title on yahoo answers forgive me, it's late at night (not really) and i have to go to sleep (really) and i have crew (true) and i'm tired (truer) also this took a long time, five things natsume only took like 10 minutes this took like 10 days. natsume and sasayan are annoying af and deserve to go die

.

.

.

_whiny people_

Sasayan hates whiny people. They're annoying and don't appreciate anything and just hate that they aren't social enough to make real friends that might actually let then be happy for once. Or just whiny people, not necessarily whiny friendless people.

Usually the cheerful baseball player gets along with everyone easily, but it's hard to be nice to someone who complains. About everything. He never imagines he might actually get a little close to anyone who acts so childish, but he does, and it's weird. She's loud and annoying and complicated, and everything he hates, but he finds that people sum up to more than just their bad traits.

.

.

.

_flighty people_

They are standing by a streetlight on the way home, and he is just about done with hearing about how it wasn't her freaking choice to walk home with him.

"I get it," he says rather irritably. "If you don't want to, I can leave you here." The second that escapes his mouth, he regrets it. There's no way he's leaving Natsume alone to fend for herself on this street full of men (and women, but the men were the bigger issue).

She looks like a gaping goldfish. "W-What? Sasayan, don't get _mad _at me! Jeez, you can't just leave. That's stupid."

_So are you_, he thinks. Not really. Everyone's born stupid, it's just how you decide to grow up that either leaves you stupid or slightly smarter. "Okay," he replies simply, really not in the mood to argue. Usually she'd start to whine about how passive aggressive he is but Natsume is Natsume and she happens to have an attention span of the goldfish she imitates occasionally.

"L-Look, Sasayan," she exclaims, almost breathless. "Look at that pretty coat, it's so pretty."

He almost rolls his eyes. "Okay."

"Sasayan, you are so frustrating!" By the way, Sasayan also hates hypocrites. "But look, it'd look pretty on me, right?"

"Suit yourself."

"Sasahara Souhei!" Damnit, he hates it when she calls him by his full name. "You're supposed to say that I'm pretty 'cause you _like _me."

Damnit, damnit, damnit. Does she have no shame at all? What the hell? This is so not cool; this is so embarrassing.

"Fine then, I'm ugly." The sniffling begins. Apart from hypocrites, Sasayan adds "people who guilt-trip other people" to his list.

"Hey, don't get all worked up over a coat," he soothes, totally missing the point. He doesn't like that she changes her mind so easily and that there's always something _wrong _going on whenever he's around her. Like, can't she manage to calm down for one second?

Instead of solving the problem, Sasayan thinks he's just aggravated it. "Dangit, Sasayan! Just tell me I'm pretty...or something, I don't know, I don't care, lalala, please ignore me, just rambling here..."

"Fine, you're pretty." Oh, for god's sake. He's blushing, isn't he? He can feel it down to the roots of his hair and the tips of his ears.

"YOU'RE BLUSHING," screeches Natsume.

"BECAUSE I LIKE YOU," answers Sasayan.

And then she's quiet(er).

.

.

.

_hypocrites_

Like he's mentioned before, Sasayan absolutely can't stand hypocrites. Sure, he breaks his own rules. But constantly?

Okay, so here's an example. (funny how the examples all seem to be the same person)

Sasayan and Natsume and Haru and Shizuku are hanging out when Nagoya squawks into existence with the intensity of a thousand plus one suns. Haru is enthralled, and Shizuku is not so enthralled. Meanwhile, he and Natsume just kind of hang back, while he's wondering how the chicken might taste cooked and in his mouth. He doesn't usually think violent thoughts about chickens, especially Haru's chicken, but he woke up late this morning and forgot his math homework.

Natsume's hair is such a vivid shade of brown. It shines in the stupid sunlight, and Sasayan wishes that everyone knew what a jerk he is inside his own mind. There are so many random thoughts that swirl around his toilet of a brain twenty-four-seven and most of it is bad. Of course, that's how he can say good things all the time, because he keeps all the bad thoughts inside. And then every night, he flushes it. (the brain, not a real live toilet)

People call him cheerful and he smiles and nods, because he's pretty cheerful compared to everyone else. His filter just automatically turns to the nicest setting. Any lower and he could be the hated enemy of the entire school.

Damn, he's the hypocrite here, and he kind of hates himself.

.

.

.

_people who don't watch out for themselves ever_

The first thing Sasayan's noticed about Natsume is that she's stick thin, like a photoshopped model, even though she isn't photoshopped and isn't a model (yet). Her eyes are sparkly but dull and she doesn't eat much, not ever, not around him.

He guesses one could call her pretty, but she's not - she would be a lot more attractive if she actually ate, maybe took care of herself for a change.

It's always been like this.

After Micchan's rejection, Natsume could hardly take care of herself. It was annoying and terrible, and maybe he didn't mind taking care of her so much, but Natsume really needed to learn how to love the girl that lived in her body. It made him irritated, back then, but reflecting upon it now, maybe Micchan's rejection was for the better. _Definitely _for the better.

But she wasn't eating. She wasn't doing her homework (not that she ever did). She wasn't even talking much anymore, and Sasayan grew to miss her loud screechy half-awkward statements that made him blurt stupid things. Sasayan missed it, Sasayan misses it. It's like, he thinks to himself, it's like the feeling that time in first grade when the guy with the mohawk shaved all his hair off and came to school with a blue buzzcut. It's not the same, and you can't help liking the former better.

There are seven billion people in the world, and he can't care about all of them, and of them all, it's her smile that he loves the most. To see her throw it away is...not cool. Not that she ever is cool, ever.

Dork.

"Natsume, eat," he reminds.

"I want a job," she reminds.

He sighs quietly, putting his weight on his elbows, resting them against the table. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"You don't understand. You have a future," she replies a little quieter than usual. A lot quieter than usual.

"So do you," he says wryly. "Unless you're planning to get hit by a bus in the next two seconds, so do you."

She hits his arm weakly, and the old Natsume kind of resurfaces. "There are more and better ways to die than that, you dumbo. Like bungee jumping, but the cord snaps and you fall."

"I'd probably just catch you," he answers, logically thinking about it. "Cause you wouldn't go bungee jumping without me, right?"

"'course not," Natsume confirms. "But Nagoya comes first."

"WTF."

Natsume grins into her hair. "He's cool."

"He's a chicken!"

"Are you discriminating against chickens?"

"Uh...no, but between Nagoya and me, who would you rather have catch you?"

"Honestly? It would have to be..." she lets her voice trail off sullenly, and for that moment, they both know who she's talking about. He's not pleased, and she's not happy, and they're both silent.

The morbidly stagnant air just hangs like a curtain, until Sasayan reaches out to unzip it. "You just have to give it the old college try."

"What?"

"A Separate Peace. Haven't you read it? That one guy..."

"Ew. Guys."

Natsume picks at her salad again, dangling one lonely piece of lettuce in front of her mouth. Her eyes want it but her stomach doesn't, and she lowers her fork again.

"Eat," Sasayan suddenly repeats. "Please."

She only gives him a hard glare. "I told you that I wanted a future."

"Again, it doesn't relate. Please eat."

"Models _don't _eat."

"Well, then don't be a model. You have to eat."

"But I'm not _good _at anything, and he didn't want me so I'm not pretty enough either, Micc-" Natsume stops, utterly startled as his name nearly rips its way out of her mouth. "Crap."

Sasayan chooses to ignore it. "You're good at plenty of things. And you're pretty." He wishes he could see her face past her hair but she's doing a good job of hiding that red on her face.

"Like _what_? What exactly am I good at?"

"Well, not eating, for one."

"Yes, so I have to be a model. Period." She resumes daintily dabbing her fork on her lettuce like an old lady wiping her mouth.

Sasayan corrects her gently. "No, models _do _eat. Models take care of themselves. No one wants a dead model, right?" As soon as he says it, he knows its the wrong thing to say.

"What do you know about eating and not eating?! Your whole future is already there, star baseball player, friend of many and respected by the entire school. How can you even joke about that? It's not funny to crack jokes about an entire style of occupation - especially death jokes!"

After that, they don't speak for the entire lunch period. And then for the day. And the week. And eventually, a whole month passes by.

"Look, Natsume, I'm sorry."

She mumbles.

"What?"

"Apology accepted, I said. Now go away before I call the Mitty on you."

"Yes, ma'am."

He goes away.

.

.

.

_people who interrupt moments _

This time, it's not her. Well, it's her, but she isn't the perpetrator. Shizuku is, and she is completely unapologetic.

It's certainly not his first kiss, let's say. Sasayan's pretty damn popular, and he's in college now. Although he's short, he's charismatic. College life is easy because he's got a full ride scholarship on baseball, so all he has to do is keep his grades up and play the sport he loves. Natsume's the rough and tough fashion designer in the classroom down the hall who spells rough like "ruff" and tough like "tuff". Although she's studying design, everyone knows she'll end up being a model most likely, because she's all grown up and _still _the prettiest girl in the grade. Or so he likes to think.

It's not his first kiss. But it's like it all over again, because it's his first one with her, and he's kissing the most perfect mouth in the world, goddamnit. So maybe she isn't too good at it because she hates guys (except him and Haru, and probably Nagoya even though he's a chicken and she hasn't seen him in months), and maybe it's wet and kind of gross, but Sasayan knows how to fix it. He's gotten plenty of sloppy kisses, all while waiting for this one. Practice, he calls it. She calls it cheating on her, even though they were never ever together until, apparently, today.

And then-

"Sorry. I'll just take 'The History of the Wars of New-England with the Eastern Indians, or a Narrative of Their Continued Perfidy and Cruelty, From the 10th of August, 1703, To the Peace renewed 13th of July, 1713, And from the 25th of July, 1722, To their Submission 15th December, 1725, Which was ratified August 5th, 1726m' by Samuel Penhallow and then I"ll leave you guys alone," someone says.

Oh yeah, he forgot he's in the library. He wishes he could awkwardly scoot them over so that they can continuing making out, but Natsume's already caught sight of the person, and he knows the voice, it's Shizuku.

"Er," he says smartly. "Er why do you need that really big book with the really long name?"

Natsume face palms and kind of runs off, face crimson.

"Oh, jeez," he gripes. "Look what you did."

"Sorry," Shizuku says, completely _not _sorry. "I'll make sure to quietly remove the book next time you guys decide to make out in a _public library_."

"Well it looks as if there _won't be a next time_," he snarls and glares at the offender. Yeah, he's gotten meaner. But also nicer!

"Oops."

"Just take you and your freakish book with you," Sasayan says, sticking out his tongue.

After all, he hates interruptions, and he's still kind of not grown up.

.

.

.

There's a lot of things wrong with Sasayan's corrupted mind, but he likes to think he's just a little bit like everyone else.

.

.

.

Omake:

"You ate him," Haru sobbed.

Sasayan shrugged. "I'm sorry, it was part of my Satanic ritual, and no one else was around."

"LIAR. I saw you with Natsume, doing _things_."

"And then..." Sasayan glares darkly at the platter of chicken. "..._he _walked in."

.

.

.

_hi_


End file.
